Do you feel like drama keeps showing up in your life? Does it seem like you can’t get relief from toxic relationships?
If you suffered from an abusive past that is affecting your life today, you are not alone. In the United States, millions of children suffer from some sort of abuse either physically, emotionally or sexually. The effect of this abuse may still be influencing your life, inserting itself into your daily reactions, decisions or expectations.
But there is an exit ramp off this wheel of frustration and pain. In this article, I will look at the origins as well as the effects of abuse such as “triggers” and PTSD while focusing on solutions that release conditioning on an energetic and behavioral level. You can transform from unempowered victim to awakened soul.
Break free from victim mentality
Most people don’t seek out pain in their daily life. But when it comes, it can be a great wake-up call. Compulsive behaviors or relationships leading nowhere can propel you to take action to crack through the walls of depression or apathy. When you are ready for change, the ego—that personality that creates your reality–no longer enjoys playing the role of victim and is ready for a change.
This wake-up call is your higher self, knocking on your heart to be heard. This higher self knows you have more to say and create and wants to break free of the conditioning adopted by the ego.
The pain is the pivotal moment when you can transcend the past to experience a more authentic version of your higher self.
The origins and effects of abuse
Traditional thinking about abuse is that it originates from childhood imprinting, family upbringing or environmental surroundings. Coming from a family where you are not heard, physically or sexually abused, or subjected to emotional manipulation can shape your self-worth and create a fertile ground for more abuse as an adult. If you don’t feel worthy, you are less of a magnet for positive experiences in your life.
This abuse can lead to being the victim of toxic relationships and emotions.
These patterns might not have even started in this life. They may be running over from a past life perpetuating the cycle again in the present life. You will learn how to address these conditions and patterns no matter what lifetime they come from.
After all, you are not just a human body with a heart and head and a family background. You are an energy being, made up of atoms in a sea of energy and possibility. And your behavior may come from more than what you experienced in this lifetime. The life you are living today not only reflects your current lifetime of experiences, but other lifetimes as well.
This is good news. As an energy being, you have the potential to create a bright future for yourself without being weighed down from the shackles of present or past life trauma because you are not a fixed, permanent personality.
The transformation process is possible because we are simply moving out old beliefs or emotions which are energy. In doing the healing work from the viewpoint of an energy being, transformation happens more freely.
The effects of abuse and trauma can be complex and challenging to transcend. There are many approaches to healing the effects of abuse. The two approaches I have experienced to transform the effects of abuse are the SFT Tapping and becoming a witness to triggers that come up in daily life.
Witness the reactions and become the observer
People who have gone through trauma or abuse, often experience “triggers” which are the nervous system’s response that sends you into fight, flight or freeze.
In other words, you may be going along in your life making progress in an endeavor when something happens that is stressful and suddenly you fall back in the victim or reactive mode. In the heat of the stressful moment, the brain accesses the trauma or negative conditioning from the past because the present situation mimics the past trauma in the reptilian brain.
These triggers can feel overwhelming and are not meant to be minimized here. They are challenging. But awareness of them and distancing from them can help transform the effects with practice.
For example, if you experienced loss as a child and you lose your job as an adult, a trigger may arise making you want to do something to dampen the pain; if you were around violent arguments as a child and have a minor argument with your partner, you may want to scream in rage as if it is life threatening; if you were abandoned as a child and you find yourself as an adult alienated in a group situation, you may want to run. The trigger can be an emotion, a pain, anxiety, or some pressure in the body stimulated by the amygdala, or primitive response brain.
Watch the reactions and breathe
When a trigger happens, watch the reaction of the body. (This requires practice and can be more easily accessed with a coach, but it is possible to do on your own.) Take a deep breath. Watch the energy of the reaction so that you create a distance between you the watcher and the fight or flight response. Allow the feeling to be without giving the feeling a name. Instead of going into the story of who did what to whom; instead of running to an addictive behavior, allow the energy of the response to be.
With this perspective, you are creating space between you and “the terrible thing” (whether it’s a thought or strong feeling). To give this fear or anger or thought more space, ask what does it look like, sound like, feel like? Watch, listen. It’s a radical form of listening where energy is real but not made into a story or thought form.
As soon as the trigger wants to return in the form of a strong feeling or a story, breathe again and allow the feeling to expand. If a gut-wrenching pain shows up, watch it and see if you can describe it. If the story wants to form, put it back into a feeling or energy form.
Sometimes you will see the energy transform or dissipate. By taking the stance as the witness, you are less the victim of the situation. Be easy on yourself as you practice this, and reach out for support when necessary. You may want to find a coach who can walk you through this by being a witness for you until it becomes easier.
The SFT tapping which follows will help in releasing patterns and can lessen the hold that triggers may have on the nervous system.
Unlock the path to freedom with SFT tapping
The Spiritual Freedom Technique or SFT tapping method created by world-renowned energy healer, Jen Ward, is a powerful way to address limiting beliefs, negative emotions, or energies that cause us to live as victims.
SFT tapping is a catalyst for healing and empowerment. By tapping on specific points on the body while focusing on the issue at hand, we activate the body’s energy system and mind allowing for the release of stagnant energy. This stagnant energy can be defined as emotions, thoughts, beliefs or blockages that hinder our growth. Since the SFT tapping is working energetically, it enables us to access stored memories and experiences encoded within our DNA addressing not only current-life traumas but also issues from past lives.
Through SFT tapping, individuals can tap into the energetic imprints left by past traumas and release their grip on the present. As you do the SFT taps yourself, you will discover more energy and joy flowing into your life.
Real life transformation
In one of Jen Ward’s sessions, the client, a victim of abuse herself, began the session with a heaviness that was visible in her stiff expression and posture. She had asked for the session with Jen because she had reached her “pain point” where the pain was greater than the resistance to change.
Jen immediately began doing taps with the client to release the most pressing issues from her life. (Some of the taps are included below.)
After just a few minutes, Jen identified past lives in the client that were affecting her ability to live a passionate, vibrant life. Jen pointed out that the client had suffered from traumas and abusive experiences in the Crusades, other wars, even Atlantis. Jen provided an immediate release of the stagnant energies which arose over the particular past lives contributing to the abuse in this life. The client’s face was visibly more animated and brighter after a few minutes of tapping where she released these energies.
At another point in the same session, the client admitted to not enjoying listening to music. Jen noted that the client had “shut down her sound frequency.” Jen shared that this happened long ago in another lifetime in Atlantis. By doing the taps on it and becoming aware of shutting down her sound frequency, the client was able to release this conditioning. (Since we are energetic beings, we don’t have to limit our awareness or identity to this one life.) There was a visible shift in her posture and voice after doing taps connected to previous lifetimes.
Having a session with Jen and accessing such deep issues is a life-changing experience. If you are struggling with creating a purposeful life, experiencing repetitive negative scenarios or emotions, you can book a session with Jen here.
Stay committed to your transformation
Commitment to the transformation process will help you reclaim your empowerment. Regular practice of the SFT tapping keeps will help you continue on a positive trajectory, and a single session with Jen Ward can bring noticeable shifts.
As you stay committed to being present and observe triggers, you strengthen your ability to be less the effect and more the cause in your life. This commitment also allows you to integrate the transformative effects of the taps, gradually dismantling the abuse cycle.
It can be a challenge to continue on the path of transformation especially when triggers come up to test you. But once you see your own success in moments where you distance yourself from a negative reaction; once you feel the bubbling up of passion in your creativity and relationships as you release stagnant energies through the SFT tapping, you will strengthen your resolve.
When you seek to express the more vulnerable part of yourself, the more creative part of yourself, triggers can challenge you further. Use the SFT Tapping and the work of being a witness to move through these moments.
To join others who are doing this work and benefit from the synergy of their support, you may want to check out the Jenuine Healing community where you will find others connected to their own empowerment.
Healing requires courage, self-reflection, and commitment. Breaking free from the old conditioning allows room for authentic relationships and a life of passion and purpose. When we can know ourselves as empowered energy beings unencumbered by old conditioning, we can accomplish great things with the heart and intuition instead of the reactionary mechanisms of the head and nervous system.
How and where to begin the process of transformational healing? Here are some taps from Jen Ward’s session below. I highly recommend her book the SFT Lexicon to get you started.
Repeat each statement three times while continuously tapping on the top pf your head, a fourth time while continuously tapping on your chest, and a fifth time while continuously tapping on your abdomen.
We release being comfortable with abuse; in all moments.
We release confusing abuse for love; in all moments.
We release deflecting the love; in all moments.
We release being abandoned; in all moments.
We release being the professional abuse victim; in all moments.
We release the fear of love; in all moments.