The cathartic nature of tears

The mental health benefits of releasing grief and pain through crying are well documented and agreed upon. But for most of my adult life, the relief found therein was unknown to me. I used plenty of distractions for handling emotional issues in other ways, not unlike most humans. With infants and young children, crying is expected as a natural language, an effective response to discomfort of any kind. But then you ‘grow up’ and learn to deal with challenges in more ‘mature’ ways. I now see and know tears in a whole new light. They are not something of shame to sidestep. They are safe passage through and out of anguish on deep levels, the beauty of which is not necessary to identify or understand for healing to happen.

In my early 20’s I learned about the teaching methods of Maria Montessori. It was exciting to have the opportunity to attend a series of workshops showcasing different ways she honors young children’s natural learning. Through daycare observations with very young children, she had honed in on their own interests in ‘play’ and developed different teaching strategies to align with them. The ones that resonated as very special to me were the ‘practical life’ area, and the ‘math’ teaching components. They involved specialized materials and procedures that made learning in general, well, as easy as child’s play.

I had struggled in school with math. I should say more accurately that I had lived in terror of learning math. To me, it was a foreign language that my native tongue struggled to interface with. But during this one workshop, simple math manipulatives explained advanced concepts in a new light. And the children understanding them are under age five. I imagined me as one of them, enjoying easier access to this math understanding vantage point.

I cried driving home from this workshop. It hit me intensely, realizing all the unnecessary fear and ineptness I had endured around this subject. But I was equally struck by how learning is best when it is individualized in ways that make sense to you. Teaching and learning is mostly conducted as one-size-fits-most. Over the years, I had developed a hardened stance of what constituted ‘intelligence’. And as I was trying to drive safely as tears blinded my physical eyes, I voiced a ‘prayer’ out loud, referencing how this experience impacted me.

“Please let me feel again, I want to feel again”. I would later connect it as similar to George Bailey on the bridge in It’s a Wonderful Life. “Please let me live again.” It was that same impassioned plea. As a side note, the inspiration for that movie came from a real incident on a bridge in Seneca Falls, New York, where a 3-day seasonal gathering of enthusiastic fans is held. Last year I actually stood on that same bridge as a light snow began to fall.

Confronting emotional conditioning

Growing up in most families back in the day, it was the norm to keep a ‘stiff upper lip’ in handling unpleasant experiences. Sad and confused emotions came without good guidance to work through them. Emotional well-being and discussions about it were glossed over. Somehow on your own you made sense of the difficult rifts and found your way through them. There were no informative clues offered about reincarnation’s role in your angst either. It seems part of a divine plan, for everyone to bumble around blindly before desperately asking ‘source’ for clarification. And then hopefully discern your own truth from what comes.

But there is also a paradox and beauty of being your own sleuth in discovering what is really going on. Being left to your own devices is a freedom and head start with experiencing cause and effect. It is navigating by trial and error… do I do this or go here or think whatever…or not? It is the beginnings of personal empowerment. Being born into a particular family, country, or culture, etc. begins a kind of ‘unholy’ indoctrination away from your own individual omniscience, omnipotence, and omnipresence.

My parents and community could not model or teach me about what they themselves did not know. A type of crisis in your personal evolution happens when your hand is forced, when you are primed to finally surrender to untapped truth. Futile misinformation wears thin. This turning point is celebrated from the vantage point of accessing your own wisdom and sovereignty as an individual being.

Journey towards spiritual growth

Life makes more sense with the conscious awareness of yourself as a divine energy being. It is a big step, knowing that you come and go, on repeat, in different bodies and stage settings, for as long as it takes to understand the real you. This knowledge smooths out the rough edges around the who, what, and why of many life challenges. Hard lessons are the greatest way showers for discerning better choices. This applies to our personal realms as well as the larger universal macrocosm. The ultimate outcome is to transcend the drama of illusion and ego and be the creator of your own worlds. A universe unto yourself.

I was going through a particularly rough patch in a close relationship, and asked, “What am I supposed to learn NOW?!” The surprising response? “You are to learn happiness and joy.” This stunned me. Being well-versed in heartache, confusion, and apathy, was more relatable, which of course was the whole point in reversing that trend. Then I came across Jen Ward’s spiritually provocative posts on Facebook. Her sensitivities and ways of releasing past life traumas got my undivided attention. Her words resonated close to home of what I had asked to understand about a deep blockage I could not get past on my own. I booked a private session where she readily identified several root causes. With her sounds and pure intention, she dissipated the stagnant energy that was ready to be gone for the requesting. This began my gratitude for crying as a healing modality in and of itself. My feet were on the right path.

Embracing life with open emotions

Soon after I came across a large letter wall decoration that spelled ‘FUN’ and hung it to where my senses could be reminded of those vibes each day. The act of ‘fun’ is a baby step to happiness and joy for me. A peaceful and joyous life is my responsibility to create. But I have also come to understand the role of ego preventing access to and accepting my own wisdom. The ego plays a part in creating drama to distract you from your own empowerment as a sovereign being. The higher self needs none of it. You do not need to be immersed in fear or suffering to placate the ego. Jen perceives the workings of your unique protective gear and pokes or shoves it out of hiding. It is a process of ‘ripping layers’ that is excruciatingly uncomfortable at the time but tough love at the core.

There is also an issue of sadness and grief that is not healthy to indulge in because of falsehoods and core beliefs attached to it. An example could be prolonged and obsessive grieving over the death of a loved one, or simply a fear of death and dying in itself. As eternal energy beings, death is simply a crossing into another reality in pure consciousness and having more valuable experiences learning about that!? It is living in the now. Dragging around misconceptions that damper yours or anyone else’s sovereign freedom is counterproductive to spiritual law. It is another clever trap of the ego to crave drama. So ask yourself who or what is at the core of your grief.

I gratefully participate in a weekly Zoom Open House sponsored by Jenuine Healing as a way to stay on top of the ego interfering with my perceptions. Because it is always a surprise to be back in battle every step of the way with the ego’s tricks. These weekly gatherings provide moment to moment unscripted insights and laughter geared to whatever is helpful for those on deck. It is the best reality show of relatable and spiritual information you can imagine and savor.       

Yes, tears come maybe too easily for me these days. But they have evolved as a valuable ‘skill set’ in releasing real and perceived grief. Current catastrophic world events are triggering fight or flight past life memories to reconcile and get past. Earthquakes, fires, war, corruption, greed and power are all within our personal repertoire of suffering we have experienced. To be in the moment with emoting whatever comes up is better than pushing it aside or deeper within. And it is interesting to track the layers and depth of grief that is released, by where it shows up in the body.

A visit to my dentist one afternoon became more than a routine procedure, and totally unexpected. And it ended up taking quite a while. It was unusual for me to be in a kind of emotional shock when I finally left the office. I could hardly breathe when talking to Jen about it.  She was immediately able to connect the extensive trauma of a past life torture experience. It found its way to the surface of the conscious mind to dislodge from the cells of the physical body. The intense tears from this particular release matched and resonated with such a scenario.

The timing and circumstances of when, where, and what is ready to be released is miraculous. Jen’s awareness, training, and love in facilitating healing outcomes is astounding.  This is showcased in her private sessions that clients are gracious to share. When you sincerely covet spiritual freedom, a cleansing takes place of everything that holds you bound to the illusions of matter, time, and space. It is a profound and thorough decluttering process. Being able to truly connect as part of divine source again and release lifetimes of turmoil and unworthiness is the intent and purpose of Jen’s energy healing sessions. Still, happenings in the world bewilder me, often about dysfunctional relationships and individuals who are wound too tightly. I wish eight billion people would gravitate to this energy healing work.  I wonder why members of a former spiritual group I once held in high esteem have the least receptive inclination to experience their true empowerment. Their spiritual freedom initially aspired to and promised is not through a second or third party. It comes from your own initiative to face and heal yourself. I was once fooled and now know better. The learning curve of life is to discern your own truth and toss out breadcrumbs for others to find their way through the thick brush, too.

Thank you, Jen.