Early journey and education
I was 22 years old and working as a nanny for my cousin’s first born son. It was an interim responsibility (while ‘finding my way’) after becoming an early drop-out at our local university. I just was not yet ready for more serious formal educational pursuits. After graduating from high school, I tried to comply with the natural order of establishing a career path. But my disinterested weariness at being shoved through the system did not match typical timelines. The first semester of attending art history in a huge auditorium with 300 other students and having to match artists with time periods and styles was, well…why?
It was hands-on life learning that suited me just fine back then. I eventually became an elementary education teacher, but I look back and wonder if a trade school in carpentry or design would have been a good choice, too. I love remodeling shows that highlight the transformational upgrades of homes in various states of disrepair. I think they remind me of my own spiritual journey of healing old wounds and becoming aware of beauty and wholeness in ways I never knew possible.
For the nanny year, I moved from Illinois to Ohio and rented a spacious second floor apartment in a huge, converted Victorian house. Directly behind it was my cousin’s cottage-type home which was probably a servant’s quarter back in the day. This proximity to their home is an important detail, as my cousin’s husband would practice his guitar at odd hours of the night. One early winter morning he would hear glass breaking and frantically alert me to flames coming from the 3rd floor apartment above me. The many unusual occurrences of that year were a kind of pre-ordained destiny where spiritual guides became known to me. If before reincarnating in this body I was shown my life trajectory of what to be ready for, this particular year was a doozie and a definite crossroads. These particular happenings are merely a snippet!
Exploring the unknown
One Saturday afternoon (pre-fire) I was in the apartment with a male friend having a casual conversation about reincarnation. It surprisingly became quickly overheated. I had learned to tread lightly on this subject because it rattled a lot of people, and still does. Defending it was not easy in the early 1970’s. He actually left in a huff out the rear fire escape stairs, fuming… “It’s totally illogical!” He was not having it, so he went home!?
Before I could even react, not two minutes after he stormed off, there was a knock on my front door. A slightly familiar face (from a brief previous encounter at another friend’s apartment) he explained about visiting his friend across the hall and overheard the reincarnation conversation. He held out a book and said I might want to read it? Well, I had unexpected free time! I hunkered down in a big, overstuffed armchair that afternoon and comfortably read the entire paperback in one sitting. It was the flagship “intro” book for a spiritual path that I actually joined a few months later. At its beginnings it held the intentions for integrity and truth. Reincarnation and dreams were a cornerstone of this teaching. It resonated with me as the perfect alternative to mainstream religions.
Deep dive into spiritual communities
The following weekend, an ‘introductory talk’ in Cleveland was held. The man who loaned out his book asked if I would like to go with him to find out more. This event bolstered my belief system in a good way. An older farmer-type gentleman dressed in overall dungarees shared his dream about dying. He and a guardian companion walked onto a lovely home’s porch where the front door suddenly opened wide. They were welcomed inside by several familiar loved ones who warmly embraced him. But his happiness was short-lived because it apparently wasn’t quite time for him to stay with them. He felt a pulling away sensation, back into his body. He anxiously asked his companion, “When can I come back?!” The reply, “August 8th. And he said that every year when this particular date rolls around, he looks forward to rejoining his loved ones. This delightful counter-reaction to the typical fears of dying was new to me, and I loved it.
And then soon after, I had an experience in the dream state of a phenomenon explained in the intro book. While napping on a couch one afternoon, I floated in the room above my body and then suddenly jolted awake at the surprise of it. Then as soon as I closed my eyes again, I was this time ‘traveling’ outside, down my street, intent on seeing if a friend’s car was parked in front of their home. And yes, there it was! Then I jolted awake again back on the couch.
The idea of an eternal soul existing beyond time and space was clearly demonstrated to me in this particular way. Your true self is an energy being of unlimited freedom and joy. And years later when I met Jen Ward through her postings, I understood how the Spiritual Freedom Technique (SFT) tapping protocols operate from this premise. They clear the path of all obstacles interfering with the love, joy, freedom, and peace of your own heart.
For many years I remained content and happy with this spiritual community, until several situations helped me to rethink what was actually happening. Changes occurred when this spiritual path became a ‘religion’ with intentional focus on attracting greater mainstream membership. It was an interesting development and who was I to question the wisdom of this new direction and hierarchy format? I would lean into accepting whatever came down the pike. Its original tenet was ‘to take soul by its own path back home to God’. But inevitably the herd ‘group’ dynamics compel you to follow limiting social constructs along with their obvious shortcomings. It actually creates a type of cult mentality to obligingly adhere to cultural norms in any group setting or society.
Where is the questioning of authority and honoring your own inner compass as a sovereign being? It is likened to The Wizard of Oz where the individual characters ask an outside source for what they most yearn to possess. Among the ironies is that a little dog pulls open the curtain exposing the wizard’s illusions. You learn that it is your own initiative that empowers and impassions your life’s purpose. I am my own savior, and so is everyone else.
That is why it is our responsibility to deal with the backlog of negative effects from past life experiences. I reached a point of deep inner discontent that had no outer cause or logic, but the circumstances afforded me the sincerest desperation to ask the universe for help. I would look around and wonder how people who had no inkling or care about spiritual identities were enjoying abundantly content lives anyway? Where was my dynamo… my omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent true nature? Something was amiss and I needed answers.
I had been sparked years before about the idea of special training to read Akashic records. They contain the experiences and memories of past lives that are stored on the causal plane of existence. I knew instinctively how profound a service this would be to any truth seeker. I also imagined the profound detachment, sacrifice, and love of taking this responsibility on. And I wondered WHAT IN THE WORLD would that entail?! It is one thing to dream about or get clues otherwise of your own past dramas. It is another thing to assist in uncovering them for others who need help. I could only imagine and marvel at what extensive soul-tempered training would qualify for earning such a position?
Discovering Jen Ward
I actually received insights on this wonderment when connecting on Facebook with Jen Ward. Her postings provided fresh and bold commentary on spirituality and energy healing that I knew was my answered request/prayer. She explained how habitual patterns (engrams) bunch up and stagnate and become dis-ease in every aspect of your beingness. Underpinnings of traumatic experiences, troubling relationships, powerplays, and any transgressions to and from others …these all get hidden airtime until lessons are learned and then released back into the ethers. It is a good system when you understand that pain is a great teacher of surrender to the truth of…well, it is a loaded opened-ended resolution!
Enlightenment comes when you face and embrace all the good, bad, and ugly. There is likely to be a lot of crying out the pain and angst. That you have been the instigator of bad juju as well as the victim is a tough realization. You have to consciously direct your sights on kindness and compassion for yourself and others for everything that has been endured. This affords the ability to respond to the unique nudges and abundant flow of truths catered just to you. Empowerment comes from figuring out your own clues to free yourself.
Jen does remote Zoom private sessions with clients from all over the world. She easily connects their present day challenges with logical causes from past life situations. I knew instinctively that here, now, was one of those rare souls with this profound ability. I booked a session. I could write a book about all the ways she has helped me since then. Maybe I will. At the least, look for a series of gratitude stories. Especially for the most challenging issues involving my ego not wanting to relinquish its hold… cliffhanger alert?!
I wonder how my gentleman friend has fared all these years with his logical one-lifetime scenario? I enjoy asking others about what they think happens after ‘death’ and even the most devout Christians are not sure of their doctrine’s truth. I just say, “Well, you will be pleasantly surprised.” It has more to do with creating your own reality than people generally realize. It is especially rewarding from the vantage point of releasing self-imposed illusions and freeing up your badass self. Keep tuned.